How to deal with the change of life and make it a better one
Who hasn’t, once in his life, thought of settling in a paradise country after a holiday. Wanting a more peaceful and less stressful change of life. But how many of us have taken that step?
And yet, the desire was there and we easily projected ourselves to live a dream life in the sun. Far from the stress that punctuates our daily lives.
Yes, but the change implied by such a decision is consequent and the fear of the unknown quickly discourages those who one day forged this dream in the corner of their head.
In this article, I will give you some tried and tested advice on how to deal with change for life, whether minor or radical.
You will discover the method to follow to help you, step by step, to carry out the life change that we have so far failed to achieve.
I will tell you how Isabelle and Philippe managed to implement their dream of life in the sun before ending with THE advice that will change everything and make you realize that you can also make it happen.
YoanGuerreiro@instagram
Change often pushes us around and we don’t really like it.
The main reason why we find it hard to get out of our routine is that it reassures us. Repeating things daily gives us a sense of security in our family cocoon. It’s our comfort zone.
On the other hand, the change of life projects us towards the unknown and the unknown inspires fear and insecurity. We have to learn to tame change.
Change is an integral part of life. Don’t you think that it is often these changes that have made us evolve and grow? Without change, we wouldn’t have met people who have become dear to us, we wouldn’t have had the opportunity to do the work we are passionate about, we wouldn’t have been able to simply follow our dreams!
That’s why we need to generate a positive attitude towards change. There’s no point in putting our feet up against the wall! Even in situations that initially seem to make us back down, there is always ONE good reason to think that we can get something positive out of it, if only a simple experience that will help us later on.
It is therefore preferable to look at the change of life as an opportunity to learn something new, to take initiative and to innovate. In a way, to have control over it rather than to endure it.
Because by doing new things, by taking up new challenges, we are actors in the actions that will lead to the desired results. In this way, we increase our self-esteem and confidence in our ability to lift mountains.
“When you discover that you are able to detect and appreciate change, you no longer see things in the same way”.
What kind of changes are we facing?
There are 2 common types of change:
- imposed change
- the desired change
Example of mandated change: Retirement
Many people are apprehensive about when they will retire. They fear not knowing what to do and feeling isolated from the world, alone in their new life.
One of the main keys to dealing with the change of life is to anticipate it to the best of one’s ability. In the case of retirement, the first thing to do is to enjoy it. After so many years of hard work, you’ve earned the right to take the time now to think about yourself and finally do what you want to do.
Think about all that you have not been able to achieve in your life so far. Make a list of them and for each one, define the steps you need to take to make them happen. For example:
- travelling and discovering new cultures
- spend more time with your loved ones
- learn more about subjects that you are passionate about
- develop your skills in a visual or musical art
Just thinking about it gives you the motivation to do them. And to give yourself the best chance of achieving them, take the necessary steps step by step.
“The important thing is not to look at the mountain in front of you, it is to see the progression that little by little leads you to the summit”.
Example of desired change: change your life / improve your quality of life
The main difference between imposed change and desired change is that the latter comes from a desire, an urge that has sprouted in our minds. It will therefore be easier to derive the motivation for its realisation.
In our example, that of changing one’s life, the process requires certain preparations. It will take time before the first signs of change are visible. It is therefore important to be aware, from the outset, of the time needed to achieve the desired result.
Set the first goals to be achieved and the actions to be taken to achieve them. Do not turn away from your goal. Be determined and do not become discouraged. Keep in mind the satisfaction you will get from all the effort you put in once you reach your final goal.
“The best projects often fall through because people don’t take the risk of going overboard”.
Stages of change of life
There are several steps to follow in order to approach a change of life and give yourself the best chance of achieving a rewarding result. I propose to use the example of the life change mentioned earlier to illustrate this.
First phase: the observation
It happens to us, at more or less frequent moments (in my opinion, not often enough) to make a kind of assessment of its past. Am I living the life I dreamed of? Am I in tune with the environment in which I am evolving? Do I still have a lot to achieve? Am I able, in the current situation, to live them? Am I simply happy with my current lifestyle? Do I have the quality of life I desire?
It is essential to take the time to make this “freeze frame”, to take a step back from the life we lead. To have the courage to ask yourself the right questions and to be honest with yourself. If our quest is to live happily, we must regularly do this exercise and validate whether or not we are on the right path.
Second phase: time for reflection
My life doesn’t have the meaning I wanted it to have. You can’t resign yourself to thinking that that’s the way it is and that I can’t change it. Take back control of your life and for that you have to understand the reasons why you are not fulfilled in your life. You need to enter into the time of reflection.
Try to identify the essential thing(s) that you are missing, that are the cause of this unease. Is it the permanent stress that you experience daily, your quality of life that does not live up to your expectations, an insecurity that you feel in the country where you live, or perhaps your place of life that no longer corresponds to your aspirations?
If you wish to discover how to significantly improve your quality of life, we invite you to read our article: “Improving your quality of life, how to manage it“.
If you wish to discover how to significantly improve your quality of life, we invite you to read our article: “
As soon as you have succeeded in recognizing the source of your discomfort, talk about it to the people close to you, take the time to think about it a little more and come to the conviction that it is indeed on this point that you must act.
Phase Three: Preparation
The aim here is to define what needs to be put in place to improve the situation, to achieve the expected result.
If we return to our example of a change of life by choosing to settle in a new region or another country, it will be necessary to determine the essential criteria that we are looking for in this process:
- sunshine almost year-round
- an affordable cost of living for my lifestyle
- an enriching culture and welcoming people
- a varied and tasty gastronomy
- the ease of getting around by car or public transport
However, we must not forget other criteria which today seem trivial to us, but which may become more difficult to access as a result of change, such as for example :
- benefiting from an efficient health care system
- feel secure
Fourth phase: establishing an action plan
To give yourself the best chances of succeeding in your change of life project, you have to prepare it well in advance. This step is essential to avoid unpleasant surprises that may discourage us along the way.
Make a list of everything you need to think about. Try to define the chronological order and the time needed to carry out each action. Take information from around you to complete your list or simply by doing a search on the internet.
Now all you have to do is start your project. Encourage yourself with each step you take and look forward to seeing the time that separates you from your dream come closer.
Testimonial: Isabelle and Philippe did it!
When they were in their fifties, their children having taken flight, Isabelle and Philippe quickly asked themselves whether they would end their lives where they are today.
It took them a long time to think about it. The positive and negative consequences of such a decision had to be weighed. But in the end, to see their quality of life improve significantly, the choice was quickly made. They decided to start a new life under the Portuguese sun.
Things didn’t go smoothly. There were a whole series of steps to go through before reaching their dream. From completing all the paperwork, to choosing the heart of their new country, to selecting their new family cocoon, not to mention preparing for the move. All of this took time. But as they had carefully prepared it, in particular by surrounding themselves with a specialized agency, things went very smoothly and enthusiastically. They even took the time to take language courses!
Today, Isabelle and Philippe live a peaceful life by the sea, far from the preoccupations that plagued their daily lives. And for nothing in the world would they change anything today. On the contrary, they almost regret not having taken the plunge sooner.
You too, don’t be afraid of the change of life and access the one you dream of…
The change of life causes many people anxiety and some destabilization. But change is an integral part of every one of our lives. To avoid such negative emotions, we might as well approach change in a positive way and make it work to our advantage.
Don’t let routine and everyday problems get the better of you. Take a step back enough to ask yourself about the things that are preventing you from living the life you dream of. Dare! You always come out stronger from the experiences you have lived and carried out.
Take the plunge! Identify your desires and needs for today and tomorrow. Everything that will lead you to live in a fulfilling way.
Don’t forget to carefully plan your change of life project. Preparation represents more than half the chances of success.
So cheer up! Take back control of your life. Close your eyes. Imagine yourself in the place where you dream of writing a new chapter in your life and savour each step that brings you one step closer to your fullness.
“The happiest man is the one who leads his life in the changes he makes to make him happy.”
YoanGuerreiro@instagram
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